Holibobs

Can you believe it is the middle of August already? Seriously, where did all that time go? It feels like yesterday that the new year had just started and we were full of hope at what the year had ahead, jetting off to the UAE and the West Coast of America. making plans to travel the world with Sam… How that all changed in a matter of weeks as we headed into March.

Lockdown seems to be on an ‘ease and squeeze’ system, which is pissing many people off. The rules seem confusing. You cannot have friends over for dinner in some places, but it is ok to go on a plane. Pubs and clubs can open, but beauty salons cannot perform some treatments. The problem is most people think the virus has disappeared and that we are all free to return to our normal lives. Wistfully, this isn’t the case. That they’re still adding countries to the list of places you must quarantine when returning from is undoubtedly a sign that travel is risky? I think anyone planning a trip abroad right now is crazy for two reasons. The first, you could be stuck. Even Bali isn’t the paradise the brochure stated when you stop paying for that five star service, trust me, I’m well travelled, there’s a reason I live in the UK, gosh, a couple of years ago we skirted with living in California, small blessings right?

The other reason, this virus has sunk the UK economy into a recession that needs money injecting into it. Cornwall, the Lakes, East Anglian, Wales, The Cotswolds are beautiful places to visit and eager to take your money… Maybe more damming is the amount of countries adding the UK to their no go list too?

I know I won’t be stepping on another plane until there is a vaccine and that could be next year or not. Who even knows any more? I feel like the lack of information being provided to us now compared to the start is a deliberate move to gradually ease our concerns. Is this a new form of disinformation? Instead of lies, it is easier for them to say nothing about what may be going on.

Whether it is my age, or a symptom of ‘lockdown fever’, I have been looking at motorhomes and caravans. My desire to go on holidays with Sam and the dog, coupled with the need to avoid as many members of the public as possible, seems to work wonderfully with a motorhome. I can’t help but think about whether it would be a contextual or content driven way of living. I guess that’s down to the size, enough space for all of us, or one of those big American motor-mansions. 

My next book is also on its way to being a a perfectly realised book for you to purchase, called Origami it isn’t about intricate Japanese paper folding, that wouldn’t be much of a Jon Biddle thriller would it. Origami is about a serial killer that turns his victims into origami shapes by dissecting them and draining them of all their blood. Less Lotus Flower and Cranes and more blood, fear and pain. 

What started as a hobby to help him control his psychosis, but evolved into something much darker, our killer, a lorry driver by day, travels through Europe kidnapping people, killing them and turning them into origami pieces that he then leaves on display in shop windows. I’ve always thought lorry drivers make great killers, they get to go all over the country or continent, unassuming and seldom thought about. I think the last time I paid much attention to a lorry driver was merging lanes on the M4, and to be fair I’m pretty sure he was trying to kill me with the way he was driving.

Maybe for series two of The ‘I HATE This Book’ Podcast I could read Origami to Sam, I’m certain this one will turn her stomach just as much as The Harvester has, though all of them would to be honest. Chapter 14 was another tough one for Sam. She needed a nap afterwards as she was so exhausted by the stress of it all. I’m sure Lucy must have felt the same way, or maybe she’s hoping she’ll wake up and discover it was all some horrific nightmare. Who knows what will happen in Chapter 15?! (Me, I wrote it. I can assure you it’s not a dream at all).

Stay frosty out there.

Jb